My Life is Not Scripted...But My Lifestyle is.

japan-o-phile:

perks of being in a relationship

  • u can steal their clothes
  • they have 2 give u their fries
  • they look cute when they sleep
  • if ur sick they still have 2 kiss u and then u can get them sick hell yeah
  • free food
  • hand on my butt 

(via theheirofbooty)

buildanewbeginning:

teashoesandhair:

dirkstriderbitch:

schweigie:

hiddenjumprope:


In an old house in Paris, all covered with vines, lived twelve little girls in two straight lines.

Things I never noticed till now: Madeline is brushing her teeth side to side.

madeline was a little rebel 

Madeline was a bad bitch

Madeline didn’t choose the thug life. The thug life chose Madeline.

You guys seriously just made my existence better.

buildanewbeginning:

teashoesandhair:

dirkstriderbitch:

schweigie:

hiddenjumprope:

In an old house in Paris, all covered with vines, lived twelve little girls in two straight lines.

Things I never noticed till now: Madeline is brushing her teeth side to side.

madeline was a little rebel 

Madeline was a bad bitch

Madeline didn’t choose the thug life. The thug life chose Madeline.

You guys seriously just made my existence better.

(via goaheadsayit)

wetnosesandwigglybutts:

maddmoll:

Last  night I took some mushrooms and coloured with crayons. This is the result

(via this-is-how-you-go-on)

keepmywhiskeyneat:

TRUE STORY
One morning, I was awakened by a knock at the door. I rolled out of bed, threw a blanket over my shoulder because it was cold, and made my way to the front of the house. I opened the door and a very nice Mormon lady handed me a pamphlet and launched in to a well-rehearsed spiel about accepting jesus in to my life when she stopped mid sentence and gave me a peculiar look. I used this pause in her speech to politely decline her offer and wish her a pleasant morning. It wasn’t until I looked at what she handed me that I understood why I stopped her in her tracks and then proceeded to laugh for the next half hour by myself.

keepmywhiskeyneat:

TRUE STORY

One morning, I was awakened by a knock at the door. I rolled out of bed, threw a blanket over my shoulder because it was cold, and made my way to the front of the house. I opened the door and a very nice Mormon lady handed me a pamphlet and launched in to a well-rehearsed spiel about accepting jesus in to my life when she stopped mid sentence and gave me a peculiar look. I used this pause in her speech to politely decline her offer and wish her a pleasant morning. It wasn’t until I looked at what she handed me that I understood why I stopped her in her tracks and then proceeded to laugh for the next half hour by myself.

(via this-is-how-you-go-on)

sher-lockedoutofthetardis:

Idk my relationship with my siblings is always either “yo I’ll help you hide the body” or “do not even breathe in my direction” there is no in between.

(Source: lucifermoose, via lovato-d)

adicatdreaming:

fee-fetchmesomethinggay-dawkins:

So I’m a teacher…

And one of my students (whom apparently is Tumblr famous) challenged me.

She said, “Alright. Create a text post and I will find it.”

Find this Gina T. 

make Gina T. find the thing

(Source: adorablecanadiancupcake, via lovato-d)

wackyshenanigans:

i have never seen a post with a plot twist like this before

This is the exact mix of wonderful and awful parenting I expect most tumblr users will display in later life.

(Source: sandpit-life, via sexandpuppies)

goforeverforworseorbetter:

goodbye-old-friend:

today i found out that apparently if you kill someone in international waters on an unregistered boat then throw the body overboard they can’t trace it back to any one legal system so you can’t be prosecuted for their murder

so what did you do today

(Source: moriartyrising, via braininsanity)

pretty-shou:

allornothinglove:

violence-of-action:

I swear, when I’m a dad, my wife is gonna get like 0 time with my kids. My God, I can’t wait to be a father.

I think that is the cutest thing i have ever heard a guy say

This gif set is adorable and so is this guy^

(Source: pink--thinker, via smoochesanddeuces)